i wanna cry..i wanna run away..

sometimes i feel like cutting myself coz dat way i wont feel anything..but yet feel satisfied wen i see those red line marks!

why? why? why?

why is dis happenning to me?!!

Ya Allah!!

is tis my balasan bcoz of the wrongdoing ive done?

im crying..inside..in silent.

i still cant frget fifie.
i still haven gotten over faz.
now my hart seem to be blocking other people to enter..
it is juz so hard!
='[

i wanna run away.
i wanna cry my heart out.
im tired.
im lonely.
sobzx!!!


i used to hev all the things i want.
now not anymore.
maybe i juz need to focus on my studies...
coz deres this saying tat says..
''wat we hev is wat we need''


damn.
possesion takings over.
i wanna listen to rawk music..
DROWNED myself from this real werld.
mosh! mosh! mosh!
i wan to mosh..being pushed from here to dere.
being THROWN!
i wanna jump up high.
rawking3!!
till im too weak to stand up again.
u wanna hev him? take. im alreadi bleeding. i wan to frget him..i wan too..
help me.
plz.
help me..
i wana cry rite now.
='[

wookee.

new blogskin agaen.
but the gerl pix is IRRITATING.
gahh.
n i love the song.
lagu 'antique' tapi takpe.
hee.


todae's skul was fyne.
hev to do a role play during assembly.
Huda's grp doned great!
our's?
okeyla.lol.
i hate role play.
i doesn hev the cnfidence to act infront of people laa.
gee.
n math was wee.
some of the exercise i did was correct.
cant believe tat im improving.
hee.
.....school over......

i met up wif 'venom' yest. (tak jadi kluar wif nuriha)
hell hes tall.
haha.
head to penin n ms.
accompany him to buy stuff.
n he did ask me for my preference.
we ate ph for dinner.
budget=$50. total eat in=$49 plus.
oops.
hehe.
den we chill at esp.
tok3 bout xs n stuff.
n gahh.
he says dat i look 21.
reasons=i dun look naive.
wow.wth.
gee.
saw his sister n his sis fiance too while strolling at ms.
muke attitude seii aku.
gahh.
we bus-ed back home togeda.
he sent me to my block.
n walah!
hes gone.
haha.
tysm venom fer the outing!
meet up soon.
hee.
<3


haa.
k meeting wif pul pul/the guy nex door later.
teman-ing syaff jek.
lepak3 at teban.
harap2 jadi.
k bye!
xD

PHOTOSHOP.WOOO.

haha.
k so ive finish my art project.
^^^look up dere^^^
INTEGRITY.LOL
was supposed to start on it during the last two weeks.
but i started doing it todae..and was onli given 1hr30min.
but luckily i managed to hand in on time laa kan.
wee.
so glad its over.
xD


okie.
school was fyne,fyne as usual.
hmm.
fer eng we 'did' Macbeth.
math lesson chill.
malay lesson,movie.
chem=boredom strike.
art..rushing to finish up the project.
recess.ayam goreng.
lol.

***************************************
idk why i feel restless wenever im at home.
idk why i love to go out.
idk why i love to spend my money outside.

pfft =.="'
meeting nuriha later.
eat3 n lepak3.
releasing all the unwanted sorrow tat hev been building up inside me.
cheyy.
klah.
Bye!
xD

missing u like fuck.

=[

ponder.PONDER.ponder.

gahh.

cant believe tat im frigging jealous of them.

ily,imy?

heartpain sia.

ive move on.

its juz dat wen deres nobody around,i came looking fer u agaen.

pfft =.="""

my werld is getting duller by days.

guys hev been running away from me.

err haha.

i donno why either.

gahh.

pathetic.

but serious.

IM BORED.

even rite now.

only chattting wif 2 guys.

which im not interested.

wth.

(werk.WERK.)

Noh,Aok n Sen want to MIA.

Me n ya wants to quit.

gahh.

reasons=werk = DULL!

HMPH.

j.east ph BYE.Bye.

klah.

im bored to death.

NUTS!

BYE.

xD

i woke up wayy early dis morning.wat a shocked.k well,never attend skul todae.damn tired after yest camp(*which i doesn need to attend. hahaha.evil laugh) Rock it! (The camp's theme name)some people was dere eg berd n blah3 n whom i dun need to mention his name. dunno why but (whomidunneedtomentionhisname) seems to hate me or i dun noe. gahh..k wtv it is. i had fun. there was a gig at the end of the camp. im hoping it was hardcore, but wth..'celine dion' daa. k but den we wen to the front. jump3,try to mosh but was stoped by the 'sergeant' n ofcoz we sure rock it! mosh3! i wan to mosh!! gahh..n yurh people who doesn like to mosh plz stand bhind laa kan. bcoz wen nuriha wanted to start the mosh,she pushed me,then i hit tis gerl. syaf says "dier tgok kat kao mcm nk maki siak." sorri urh. like ive said, lao tknk mosh jgn g depan arh siol. -.-""""


okeyla.
byE!
xD

im laughing my ass out rite now!!

hahahaha!

kakti was stuck outside the window sill while she was retrieving her face brush.

reasons why shes stuck=she hev dis short legs which couldn reach the window.

dis is how the situation looks like after we hand her a chair fer her to climb.

it was funny laa. pendek. haha.

okie.

i sat at home the whole day of todae.

no plans going on.

oow nono.

actuali i do.

either going to the gig at pr wif noh n gang or lepak wif sen.

but i prefer to stay at home.

effing tired la.

n i realised dat i hev been stuffing myself wif foodFOODfood since morning!

gahh.

sitting at home reali fattens people up.

yurh. wth.

klah.

Bye2!

xD

argh!!
ive pass my similar n congruent triangle test.
so dis means tat i doesn need to attend math remedial anymore.
yahoo! (im happy!)
tanx to fififife n berd arh siol for tutoring me the other day la.
hee.
but i'll still acmpany syaf to the remedial.
yurh guess so.
tgok mood k syaf.
xD


hehe.
k so tagged along wif syaff to met up wif ilyas dis evening.
study3 again.
mann hes a genius.
11 point for os?
woo wth.
n yurh hes a gud tutor too.
but,i prefer fifififie tho.
stuff ourself wif kfc new meal-the $5.95.
we ate at bm kfc(my old job place.)
so i saw junior n dis malay guy.
wat a shoked coz dey still remembers me.
hee.
so tanye khabar n tok3.
dat place is like so nolstalgic sia.
the first ever place i started berdikari or sng cakap-werk.
tu pasal.
gee.

so head to ps soon after.
was intending to returned back faz's jacket but hes not werking.
buey sak.
geram jek.
gahh.
k but nemind.
den we went to ps.
wanted to watch prom nite.
but den the timing was so lte.
blah3.
head home-d.

klah.
malas nyee nk post.
gahh.
bYe2!
xD

Its like,

wen im totalli over it..u suddenli pull me in for another round.

FUCK.

The reflected feelings was so much of a difference.

He showed me care.

Unlike u.

im trying my best to get it over wif.

help me.

*IDK WAT HAD HAPPENED...BT DERE SHUD BE SPACING IN BETWEEN THOSE SHORT SENTENCE TO SEPARATE THE DIFF TOPIC. -.-"""""

okie.

wee.

school was fine.

but i hate chemistry lessons tho. i dont understand all those fcking 'things' shes teaching. n yurh. hev to swap sits wif liyang. wtf. n why must it b either me or syaff? kite tak pena uat bising seii.

gahh!

I love english. Damn. woo. learning abt superstitious pebenda tah. bez la.xD

Math was fyne. Had the similar n congruent triangle test juz now.

it was easy. ceyy yeelatuu. macam paham jek.

lets juz wait fer the results. i dun wana hev to attend remedial. malas oi.

ow art was fun. im loving PHOTOSHOP. hehehe.

SCHOOLS OVER!

***********************************************

faz wanted his jacket back.

but how dear?

im lazy n tired to go out tis daez..

penat urh.

n my gaji was pathetic.

84 bucks.

ya received 102 bucks.

it was not fair.

we werk on the same hours n dayz but she received more.

hmm.

gahh.

ABU BILER MAU JUMPE AGI?

AKU RINDU KAO.

HAHAHA.

klah.

end it here.

ByE!

xD

My wishes came thru

the content of the wishes-meeting fifie/going out wif him/single date.

****************************************

i was out studying wif him tis afternun.
he brought along berd arh siol too.
good thing deres berd,coz wen me n fifie were unable to solve the problms he was dere to help.
Berd amek a math oi.
pandai tuu.
haa.
so basicly,tadii the three of us blajar o level peh bnde.
tmrw math test.
gahh.
k den arnd 7 oclock berd left.
fifie cntinue teaching me n den we ate kfc at causeway pt.
it was dope. we didn talk much while eating.
is it bcoz of me or is it bcoz of him..idk myself.
a few min bfore heading home then i feel tat our chemistry was rising.
he told me stories n blah3.
okeyla.
we juz doesn meant to be i guess.
hahaha.
i juz like him dats all.
hes cute.
xD



n yurh.
zarrin doesnt play trombone.
mistaken identity huda.
haha.
i asked him '' u play trombone ehk?''
hes reply was.."trombone? wat the fish..hahaha"
den we tok3.
woo.


klah.
im tired.
nitez.
bYE!
xD

irritating ADS pops up wenever i wen into my blog.

pfft!!

-.-""

i hev new blogskin.yey.like a magnet tis skin attracts my hart. cheyy mp. well. i like those balloons.

flying.. floating on the air.. woo.

gahh.

bonjet's fren is crawling all over this helo kity keyboard.

scarryy.irritating.

n now. im scratching all over.

itchy3.

hmph.

juz read syaff's post.

she misses the guy nex door.

alalala. aww.

well. like uve said to me.

"if he wans ue,he will suicidal-ly try to 'grab' ue."

n dats why im over fifififie already.

tanx oi. ur werds touches my hart.

so now, PLZ. juz ponder n listen to ur own werds.

mushy2 plak aku.

haha.

well.

fififie texted me early this morning.

(n i mean wayyy early.)

i was sleeping soundly wen suddenli-

brokencyde screams ''bree! bree!"

n i thot i was dreaming.

yur truly shocking.

fifie? mcg me in the middle of the nite?

mcm da tak btol jee.

k anewae. i miss him laa kan. =[

exchnge text mcg fer a few mins den he ask me to kol him.

i wanted too actuali.

but den probs emerge.

so i cant kol him.

he suddenli senyap.

tat why i say him weird.

"hes weird but cute tho..''

kk.

meeting faz n his dad todae.

faz nk 'blanje' mkn.

butterfly in my stomach urh.

first tyme meeting his dad face-to-face.

n.

we r still juz fren okie.

kk.

neva atend skul todae.

n its racial harmony day.

guess dey are having fun at skul wering ethnic costumes

hee.

klah.

toodles.

bYE.

xD

people has been telling me dat im becoming more tan.

wth.

wth.

some even says dat im becoming more darker than syaff.

gahh!

yeke?

i didn wen sun-tanning or stuff wat...

=/

k,

met up wif spec wif adeq yest.

muke Acham siol.

hah.

then we head to ps.

eat secret recipe.(faz werkplce)

tok2 wif faz n he treat me a slice of sc cake.

n yurh.

the total bill was $28.-minusing the staff discount n service charge.

tysmf.<3

n.

spec pay up $20.

wee.

so syaf n i juz need to come out wif 4 bucks .

tysms.<:

lepas makan den kite teman faz p smoke break.

minutes later,AK plak dtg.

n wat a suprise,AK doesn recognise me.

Siak urh AK.

hahaha.

den all of us wen to our separate ways.

spec-vivocty

Ak-meeting his bandmates.

Faz-werk,meeting bandmates.

me n syaf-meeting ya,noor,zahir,bob,bun n dis one guy.

met up wif them at marina square.

lepak3 at rooftop ms.

home-d at 12.30.

while we r waiting fer the bus to head home..thers tis CUTE mr who wanted to ask fer my no.

tapii melepas.

kakah.

idc lurh.

ilikeabu.

xD

klah.

bye.

xD

[he says dat hes one un-photogenic guy]

(k eww. my eng suckx..o.0)

woohoo.

juz came back from sembawang.

met up wif zarin aka Abu.

k well.

Hes CUTE laa kan.

hees.

it was fun going out wif ue.

woo.

xD

KAKAH!

xD

KK.

juz found out dat fififie is in relationship.

puki peh jantan.

hahaha.

im not angry.

im not upset.

im so over it.

xD

Never attend skul todae.

reason=malas.

hehehe.

klah.

Bye.

xD

whats wif the flirting?

why the falsehope?

now i cant seem to frget bout u..

im still not over it.

='[

SKUL WAS OK.

=]

Im starting to love mrs quay lessons n teaching. Damn,shes good.

Hopefully wif her guidance in english im able to pass my eoy yee.

=]

math tadi kene sound jap by mrs wang.neva attend her remedial lesson yesterdy. syaf malas lurh nk g. den i dragged along. stupid me. yurh2 wtv.

=]

alerr.

i hev no mood to blog actuali.

klah

bYE.

xD/=[

[fifie's fan sign]

MY MATH TEACHER JUZ KOL!!

GAHH.

was so damn scared sia juz now.

nie urh sape suruh tak p remedial..kan3.

haa.

''Aaughh!'' (lion rawwr-learned from ss class.lol)

kk.

BOO.

im sad.

PLUS a lil bit frustrated maybe.

n it was all bcoz of dat someone.

imisshimbuthedoesnevencare.=[

OVER IT!

[school]

math lesson was alot easier to handle now.

i understood wat shes teaching.

yey.

but chemistry was a blur.

the balancing equation seems to be so foreign.

gahh.

art lesson was a lot of fun.

get our hands on a software called PHOTOSHOP.

all the pix looks perfect after every editing.

cool.

n

im wearing specs to school.

reasons=

my contact lenses hev all been used up.

NERD.xD

haha.

imissfifie.

imissfauzee.

imissfazly.

klah.

BYE!

xD

GAHH!!!










bye.
x/

so no.
he doesn left the 'hi!' hanging on itself.
hehe.
we've exchange numbers.
we've texted each other.
we've chatted on the phne.
n he send me a gud morning mcg a few hours back.

n THUS.
dat makes me feel so ecstatic todae!
wakaka!
n guess wat.
i understood all of todae's lessons.
gee.
a world soo dull now u brought wif laughter laa kan.
fifiefifiefifiefifiefifiefifiefifiefifie.
hees.xD(FALLING IN LOVE LURH!!GAHH.)


KK.
met up wif A K,Faz n Sponge yest nite.
it been long time since i meet them or even contact wif them.
many things happened to faz.
i cud only show him my sympathy which i noe i doesn hev any other ways to help him.


"for my sake, plz say sori to them n go back home.."

klah.
Bye2!
xD

why! why! why!
why do guys says hi and left it hanging?
gahh.
fifiefifiefifiefifiefifiefifiefifiefifiefifie!!
went head over heels over uee........................................................
lol.
aku giler.
gahh.



k
bye'
x/

wokie.
juz came back from central.
gee.
saw ninie tooz while waiting fer the guys.
i like her shoes.
gahh!
hee.


n n.
hes online.
hmm.

k.
bye.
xD

what happened to my song?
playing fer 30 second onli?
gahh.


wtv.
im too hepi to care about other stuff.
BCOZ...




niari gaji kuar.
yey.

BYE!
xD

wooyee.

finished the picture essay alreadi/
didn hev any ppt at home so decided to use Moviemaker instead.
dunno if we can use it or not..but nemind.
Atleast we've doned it.
yey!(didn expect us to finish it actualy but..woo!)

nex thing to do==
individual essay.
malas nyee.
gahh.
Wanna pass eng peh pasal so buat je lah kan.
haa.

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

met up wif mimie arh siol yest.
muke ala ala ogy seii.
cute jgak tao.
he brought along his frens..
fifie,berd,romeo n blah3.
N..im falling for his 'blood'..
ilikefifie,can?
gee.
we did many things yest..
isap sisha(man-made nyee. style tao)
n many things tat i dun need to mention.yeh.
n hev i mention tat me n syaf,didn attend skul yest too?
yurh.
alarm clock daa bunyi beh wa malas nk bangun. adeq pon ikut tido alek.
mak abah bising skejap. den we sleeeep sleeeep sleeeep till 12.
it was a suprise dat mr ttc tak kol abah.
hmm.
k wee.


juz now skul was fun.
like usual actuali.
im loving skul.
hehe.
xD

KLAH.
wana go lepak now.
bYE2.
x)